by Kerin Acosta, FLM Psychologist

En Español

At Family Life Missions,  part of our daily routine is to identify and express feelings properly. At one time this was hard work for the children living at the Por Los Niños Village.  Because of the trauma they had experienced, they had lost their voice and they didn't know how to express what they were feeling. Some tools, such as the feelings chart, has helped. The children learn how to express their feelings and can identify more than three feelings when there is a change in their life. This gives us a lot of satisfaction knowing that they have achieved emotional health. Research shows that not expressing emotions and feelings hurts our body and can causes heart disease, ulcers, or gastrointestinal problems, as well as experiencing high levels of cortisol (the hormone that is produced by stress), causing tension in the neck muscles and experiencing headaches or muscle aches.

In our culture, not expressing negative feelings is seen as being a strong, resilient person. Of course, that is a mistaken belief. Through trainings, counseling, and psychological therapies we teach children and families the importance of properly expressing emotions and feelings  to have healthy, holistic families in the community of Catacamas.

Many people mistakenly think that emotions and feelings are the same, but they are not. Emotions are caused by internal or external stimuli, being transitory states that come and go. For example, emotions can be joy, happiness, anger, and fear. The question is: Are emotions good?  My answer is “yes”, because they help us adapt in a world that is constantly changing. Feelings on the other hand, are permanent and last longer than emotions. They are subjective because they are not easy to know unless we can express them. Some examples are love, hate, compassion, and concern.

As human beings, we experience emotions and feelings every day of our lives. God made us with a body, soul, and spirit. We are created to feel as He feels. I remember the verse in Matthew 26:38: “Then he said to them, ‘My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me’”. Jesus was expressing his feeling of sadness to two of his close friends. I love this example because Jesus could stop feeling; however, he did not do that. Instead, he took the time to feel. He chose a secluded place and specific people to be able to express how he felt. Let us remember that at that time, He felt distressed to face death and as a human it was difficult for Him to experience the pain of physical separation. Reflecting on this, feelings and emotions do not ask for permission; they appear when we least expect them.

Many people believe they do good by repressing feelings and emotions, or only expressing positive feelings and emotions. One of the reasons, possibly, is that we do not want to be weak and we try to hide those feelings in our deepest recesses, expressing only that we are fine.

By naming our feelings and understanding our emotions, we can live healthier lives, both spiritually and physically. This is what we practice at Family Life Missions with our staff and the children and families we serve.